The propensity of jerks to miraculously end up dating the sweetest single girls has left many a companion seeker completely dumbfounded.

It always seems that the prettiest, kindest, and even most spiritual girls date the most arrogant and self-absorbed guys. Movies like Hitch and endless dating articles have offered advice and even outlined in detail what should be done to reverse the tendency. As far as why it exists, however, I really can't provide profound personal insight.

Abrasive, dismissive personalities of the opposite sex are simply not attractive to me. I have always been a fan of the nice, nerdy guys. You want to explain the new computer program you just wrote in detail? Awesome! You spend your day looking at Excel spreadsheets? Sounds intriguing. You make witty banter and use expressions like, "I was making a hyperbole!"? Seriously, marry me.

Yet, I have witnessed the phenomenon of mismatched manners between couples and have endless friends who also bear testament to its existence. So, why exactly is it that bad guys end up dating good girls (or vice versa)?

Many have proffered their own speculations about the motivation of both parties. Self-proclaimed "bad boys" relish the thrill of corrupting an innocent, inexperienced "good girl." Some "good girls" are simply masking their reformer ways and know, just know, that they have the power to transform their "bad boy" into the perfect, respectable mate. Sometimes neither party can find who they are looking for and simply settle for the next best, or worst, thing.

Whatever the story produced, there's a simple biblical explanation for why it happens: we are selfish.
Instead of loving each other the way that Christ tells us to ("like He loved the church," Ephesians 5:25), it is much easier to focus on the flaws of our significant other and mold, or destroy, them to suit our own purposes. In comparison, John 1:1 shows that all members of the Godhead treated each other with full equality. John 1:14 also shows that Jesus joyfully submitted to the Father by choosing to become flesh and dwell among men. Finally, all members of the Godhead always demonstrated reverence for the Others (John 8:42).

In every holy interaction recorded in the Bible, there exists equality (John 5:18), mutual submission (John 5:22-23), and respect above self (Philippians 2:3).

In contrast, following the fall of man, selfishness immediately abounded. Genesis 3:12-13 says that when God confronted Adam and Eve after they had sinned, the man blamed the woman and God, and then, the woman blamed the serpent. Talk about passing the buck. Everyone was fending for themselves, and Adam and Eve had no qualms selling out their spouse to do it.

I, by no means, attempt to suggest that those who like the "nice" guys and girls are not selfish. In actuality, the struggle to surrender to self exists for every human being who desires to follow Christ-"good" or "bad." Jesus himself prayed in John 17:20-22 that we may all be one, just as God the Father is in Jesus and Jesus is in the Father. Unless Jesus is the center of our relationships, though, we are the "bad" guys and girls.